How To Use A Strap-On Dildo

You can see a video where I demonstrate all the following tips.

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In this writing by "Top" I mean the person who is wearing the strap-on and doing the penetrating.  By "Bottom" I mean the person who is being penetrated.

Preparation:

  • enema
  • a thorough anal massage
  • silicone based lube

Top - Wearing a strap-on dildo can be very strange at first but the more you do it the more you will be able to use it as an extension of your body.  It takes practice and the first few times are bound to be awkward.  You will most likely find that the muscles you use for thrusting are very different than the ones you use for receiving penetration and you will need to practice to build those muscles and to develop a feel for the rhythm of fucking vs. being fucked.

Bottom - Keep in mind the experience level of your partner.  I know the fantasies of being fucked hard and used in many different positions may have been running through your mind, but sometimes fantasy is very different from reality.  Your partner will be dealing with mechanics, a prosthetic penis, safety, cleanliness, etc.  Rather than focusing on making your fantasies come true I suggest you stay present to what is happening in the moment and feel every sensation as it comes.  Do this until your Top is experienced and skilled enough to manipulate you and the situation to get close to giving you the kind of experience you crave.

Make sure to communicate whenever you need more lube, need to slow down or need to take a break.  If you are clear in expressing your needs and telling your partner about them it allows both of you to go deeper into the experience.  Your partner will be able to experiment and be creative knowing that you will speak up if anything is not right.  Always.

If something is uncomfortable try relaxing into it and see if that helps it.  Get more genital stimulation - being aroused helps your body and brain to interpret sensations as pleasurable.  Try adding more lube.  Ask your partner to go slower.

If something is painful stop immediately.  It should never feel sharp or hot in your anus or rectum.  If you feel a pain and tense up ask for your partner to pause until you are calmed down again and able to relax and accept anal penetration.

Positions:

The side lying position is one of the most relaxed positions for the body.

Bottom - You don't lay directly on your side - you are in between your side and your stomach.  It can also help to have pillows under the side of the body that is away from the bed.  This is an ideal relaxed and open position for anal penetration.

Top - straddle the bottom leg (it should be straight) of the bottom and move in toward the anus.

This position gives a lot of control to each partner - the top can rock the bottoms hips with their hands, the bottom has plenty of leverage and space to move in any way that feels good to them and they can easily have eye contact.

The face down position can be the most challenging.  It depends on your body type but generally I've found it's difficult to get the right height for the anus to line up with the dildo in a comfortable spot.  Experiment using pillows for more height.  If the bottom is on their knees and they are too high then spread their knees (if they are flexible enough) to lower their butt.  Same for the Top in doggy style - get more height by pulling the knees together and go lower by spreading your knees apart.

Technique:

Top - Make sure to incorporate lots of touch with your hands as well.   Stay in connection with their body.  You can also talk dirty.  Keep the theme if you have one going - sexy, power exchange, playful, etc.  It's ok to laugh and play too.  Follow the flow of energy.

See if you can feel the base of the dildo against your clit or pubic bone as you grind into their body.  Notice all the sensations of your body and how it feels to be in this position.

Use your hand to guide the dildo whenever needed.

Don’t be afraid to use your hands and arms to move your partners body around.

A bouncy bed can help.

Bottom - Experiment with rocking your hips.  Notice how rocking your hips in different directions allows for the dildo to put pressure on different parts of your insides.

Experiment with using your hands - against the wall or bed frame to brace your body, on your genitals for added stimulation, or on your partner to stimulate them or support them in their thrusting motions.  Your hands on their hips can help a lot if they don't have strong thrusting muscles.

Debrief:

After your session and you are both all cleaned up and rested up, take time to discuss what happened.  Talk about what worked and what could have been better.  Each of you share about your experience so each of you know what is in the mind of your partner.  By reviewing after every session your experience will get better and better every time.

Above all, practice, practice, practice.  And enjoy!

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